Lost without Lost? Desperate without Housewives? If you don't know what to watch on the box now that your favourite programmes are winding down for the season, here's a preview of some of the new shows coming up for winter.
REALITY:
THEBIGSTUFF
TV3, starts this Tuesday, 7.30pm
Are you a pack rat? Is your furniture buried beneath a pile of junk, much of which should have been thrown out 10 years ago? In this New Zealand series about redesigning your life by lightening your physical load, life designer Sian Jaquet and project manager Gez Johns help people get rid of their possessions and turn their house into a home. It's part house design, part counselling as the duo tackles the big stuff about the issues of chaos.
KITCHEN CRIMINALS
Food TV, now screening weeknights 7.30pm
Is cooking a talent or a skill? Michelin-starred chefs Angela Hartnett and John Burton Race attempt to answer this question as they reform some of Britain's worst amateur cooks. Hartnett previously worked under Gordon Ramsay before appearing with him in Hell's Kitchen. Burton Race made a name for himself in the series French Leave and is a judge for cooking show Britain's Best Dish. The two attempt to upskill their contestants from two-minute noodles and frozen pizza into gourmet chefs.
VANITY LAIR
Vibe, starts Saturday, July 5, 6.30pm
Ten beautiful people crammed into a grand old English villa for 10 weeks sounds like a recipe for disaster or the subject of a new reality "experiment" to see what real beauty means. One contestant vomited when told he was not considered scientifically beautiful. He also said he'd rather lose his legs than his hair. Each week three new contestants are introduced into the lair, and the residents must vote one of them in. That person then has the power to eliminate one of the residents. The first episode sees the departure of probably the only "real" person in the house, 18-year-old horse-rider Stephanie. It can only only better.
LIVING LOHAN
Vibe, starts Tuesday, 9.30pm
Here's the million-dollar question about Dina Lohan is she just another "showbiz mom", or a genuinely caring, nurturing parent trying to encourage her kids to spread their wings? Our money's on the former, but now you can be the judge, because the Lohans (minus the famous redheaded, "I'm a lipstick lesbian" Lindsay) are starring in their very own reality show. Mama Lohan is training 14-year-old Ali, who for some reason resembles Ashlee Simpson (something you're not telling us, Dina?) to be the family's next cash-cow, oops I mean celebrity daughter. She employs a young music producer whom she met online to help them on their way. Obviously, Mrs Lohan has never heard of scam artists, or Sam Lutfi.
OPRAH'S BIG GIVE
TV3, starts Wednesday, 7.30pm
The big O is back, this time with a dramatic new series about altruism what happens when people compete to give to others rather than personal gain? A group of 10 people are given the challenge to change the lives of strangers in creative ways. What the contestants don't realise is the winner (The Biggest Giver) will win a $US1 million prize. Because this is Oprah, the celebrity guests run to A-list names John Travolta, Jada Pinkett-Smith, tennis legend Andre Agassi, skateboarding star Tony Hawk and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver.
DARE TO WIN
TV2, starts June 22, 7.30pm
Dominic Bowden, fresh from LA and The Next Great American Band (which unfortunately has been canned) is the host of this new game show where teams of four (family, friends, flatmates or workmates) are given a challenge. They have a week to practise before going in front of a live studio audience where one person from the group is selected to perform the challenge. The winner gets $10,000 if it all sounds a bit of a cliche, remember this is the same channel that brought us possibly the world's worst show, Singing Bee.
DRAMA:
CRIMINAL MINDS
TV One, starts Thursday, 8.30pm
The most exciting thing about the third season of Criminal Minds is the addition of Joe Mantegna to the largely unknown cast. Viewers may not recognise his face (although they should, Mantegna played treacherous mobster Joey Zasa in The Godfather III), but will recognise his voice from The Simpsons. He's recurring cast member Fat Tony, the mob boss. In Criminal Minds, Mantegna plays profiler David Rossi, the replacement for Mandy Patinkin's character Jason Gideon. Patinkin left because of the show's violence, but Mantegna has no such qualms. "What we deal with on the show is no more than reality. In other words, this group, this bureau of the FBI exists and these crimes are real. It's dark and it may be grim, but having said that, it fulfils a need. We are the last of the white knights who are trying to slay the dragon."
ARMY WIVES
TV2, starts Thursday, 8.30pm
Ah, the challenges of being an army spouse your husband is always away or employed on "top-secret" missions, there's abuse, rumours and adultery to contend with on the domestic front and then there's the Jodies civilians who hit on the wives of enlisted men. They can be hard to resist on lonely Saturday nights down at the local army pub. A bit like a trashier version of Desperate Housewives, the "wives" consist of Claudia, Denise, Pamela and Roxy, who live together in the fictional Fort Marshall but in a twist to the tale, civilian husband Roland is also part of the spousal mix. The two-hour premiere shows the women (and man) meeting for the first time in the ladies room during a special officers' dinner: one is heavily pregnant, another is covered with bruises and someone's having sex in a toilet cubicle.
BURYING BRIAN
TV One, starts July 2, 8.30pm
If you've looked across at your husband and wished he'd drop dead, spare some sympathy for Jodie. After drunkenly declaring that most churlish of sentiments for her spouse in a crowded pub, she goes home to discover that he has, indeed, kicked the bucket. In a panic, she enlists the help of her two closest friends to bury the body. Initially the ladies think they've got away with it, but they soon discover the field in which Brian is buried is being dug up for a housing development. There's a lot of Kiwi-lebs in this local drama including Shane Cortese, Rebecca Hobbs, Robbie Magasiva and Ian Mune.
COMEDY:
GAVIN & STACEY
TV One, starts Friday June 27, 8.30pm
A Bafta Award-winning comedy, this show is one of the BBC's biggest hits. Gavin (Mathew Horne) and Stacey (Joanna Page) are two misfits who speak every day on the phone at work. They have become quite obsessed with each other even though they've never met (Gavin lives in England and Stacey in Wales. When Stacey decides to move to London to be with her man, the reaction of those around them varies. The first season is only six episodes but in the UK, the series is already on to its third season. Horne and one of the other core cast, Nessa Jones, won Baftas for best male and female comedy newcomers, so this is definitely one to watch.
CHUCK
TV2, starts this Wednesday, 8.30pm
Chuck Bartowski is a Stanford University drop-out who's fixated on his last relationship his college girlfriend who cheated on him with his roommate. He becomes an unlikely spy after he accidentally downloads all the CIA's most sensitive secrets into his brain after opening an email attachment. The tall, gangly Chuck is played by an endearing, curly-haired Zachary Levi. Chuck, of course, needs a love interest, and who better than lithe blonde Australian actress Yvonne Strahovski (she speaks fluent Polish in real life). The show has glib conversation, co-star chemistry, zesty writing and is slick, real slick the first episode is shot like an action movie. It looks set to be a Tuesday-night favourite.
SPORT:
OLYMPICS
TV One and Freeview 20 (live), Friday, August 8 Sunday, August 24, continuous coverage from midday
This is the big one. The opening ceremony is on Friday, August 8, at 8pm with athletes from 205 countries gathering in Beijing on the centenary of the modern games. The first week brings a variety of games into play such as rowing, badminton, baseball, boxing and more, but the much-anticipated athletics finals won't be till the start of the second week.
ALL BLACKS TESTS
Sky TV (live) and Prime, through July and August
Our national shame, oops sorry, game. We really should beat England on Saturday (7.35pm) but frankly, the Tri-Nations could be a bit of a shocker. Win or lose, there's bound to plenty of drama on and off the field, while the battle between the coaches (Henry vs Deans) is shaping up to be an even bigger showdown than Clark vs Key.
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